She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
