somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I intend to get homeless drunk
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
