Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
pray to the hookup gods
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
