just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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