yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
