I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
