WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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