strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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