Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
