Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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