Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
