you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
This baby is an asshole
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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