new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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