I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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