He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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