the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
