hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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