Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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