I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
