Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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