well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
No I am not eating basil off your cock
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
