And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
