Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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