I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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