Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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