you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
