I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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