just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
