He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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