I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
