Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
