covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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