At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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