BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
whose ass print is on the piano?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
