just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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