I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
