Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
