i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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