i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
