my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There's always time for handjobs
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
