THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
