Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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