Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
