come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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