You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
