He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
