And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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