Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
