A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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