I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
