There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
