we made out on top of his cat.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
