Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I bet he comes in French.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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